An alcoholic was walking along a beach. A sunlit glint of metal in the sand caught his eye. Going over to inspect it, he saw that it was brass. He started brushing away the sand from around it and soon realized it was an old brass lantern or lamp. After he'd cleared away enough sand, he was able to free it from its sandy grave. He lifted it up.
"Wow," he thought, "I wonder if this is worth anything?" and started brushing away the wet sand that still clung to it.
As he did so, a mist started drifting out of the spout. It very quickly became very thick and large, about his own size. Then, with a quiet whoosh, the cloud coalesced into a genie!
"Thank you, my friend!" said the genie with a kind smile. "You have just freed me from thousands of years of being washed around on the ocean floor by the tides and currents. And of course, as I'm sure you know, you now get three wishes. What will you have?"
It didn't this boozer long at all to know what he wanted.
"How about a bottle of scotch that never does dry?"
Poof! A bottle of scotch appeared in his hand. Somewhat wary, he carefully opens the bottle and sniffs the contents.
"Smells like scotch," he remarked.
"It's good scotch too," answered the genie.
The alcoholic takes a small sip.
"Mmmm," he says, "that is good scotch!"
I lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a healthy swig.
Lowering the bottle, he asks, "And it will never go dry?"
"Never!" replies the genie.
A big smile breaks across the drunk's face and he says, with enthusiasm, "Hot damn!"
He takes another swig, enjoys it briefly, then takes another.
The genie, getting impatient, says, "You still have two more wishes, you know."
"Oh yeah," says the drunk and thinks for a few seconds.
Then holding up the bottle, he says, "I'll take two more of these!"